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If checking off lists were all it took, Elle Reed could keep her life from crumbling around her. But her husband betrays her trust, her best friend’s recent diagnosis reveals a hidden trauma, and a secret Elle has been keeping from her mother has wrecked their Gilmore Girls-esque relationship. Her career may be the one thing she has control over, and she holds it tightly with both hands.

Then she gets a call she never expects—her mother has passed away suddenly, taking any hope of reconciliation with her. Discovering Catherine’s collection of devotional journals while packing up her home provides an opportunity to glean the wisdom she so desperately misses. But the journals reveal that her mother had secrets of her own, leaving Elle wondering if anyone in her life is who they say.

When an upheaval at work rips away the only stability Elle has left, she has to face her biggest fear. What will it take for her to surrender control to The One who’s had it all along?

Beauty in the Bittersweet is the first book in my A Thornbush and Juniper Story series. The series follows four women who are all part of the music scene in Nashville, Tennessee. Each of the four are introduced in this first book through Elle, whose life intersects with theirs at some point.

I am one of those music lovers who doesn’t have even a twinge of musical talent, so some may find my decision to center this series around Nashville to be a risky move. Fortunately, I have several friends who are a part of the business and were willing to let me follow them around, meet their friends, and host my daughter and me during our many trips to Music City for research. With their help, I was able to come close to providing a glimpse into Nashville’s music scene and the lives of a tour manager, a cellist with the symphony, a break-out music star or two, and my main character in book one, who works for a music publishing house.

Although the story began with me personally in Catherine–the mother’s–shoes more than anything, it has been pointed out to me that I’m similar to her daughter, Elle, in a lot of ways. The premise of this book was originally inspired by my own near death experience when my daughter was a teenager. I survived a serious illness, which left me comatose for some time, and while recovering, I imagined all the things I would have never had a chance to share with her if I hadn’t lived. That’s where the idea of a daughter finding her mother’s journals after losing her unexpectedly originated.

Throughout the story, Elle always has a plan for how to fix things. As I was re-reading Beauty in the Bittersweet, I realized how naturally it came to me to write her character this way. Even when she confronts the woman who is trying to destroy her marriage, her thought is…as long as such and such happens or doesn’t happen, this is how things will work out. I also tend to throw myself into productivity when things aren’t going well in certain areas of my life. Stressed? I clean. Career stalling? I find side projects (such as this book!). Relationship issues? Work more hours. Faith being challenged? Do more, go further, try harder.

Even after leading the character of Elle toward finally giving up the need to control everything, I still find myself fighting that tendency in my own life. When things aren’t working out, I’m certain it’s because I did something wrong. So, although I recognize it in myself, I still haven’t fully released the urge to power through. Rest is a four-letter word, but it’s a four-letter word to me.

That being said, God taught me so much through the experience of bringing this novel to publication. He graciously allowed me to find an agent on my first pitch, but it took many rewrites, and many submissions before we reached this phase. I have been humbled and reminded that His timing won’t always make sense to me. I know I’m stubborn, and I have had that stubbornness held up to me like a mirror more times than I can count when I have to admit that someone else had a good point after all. I have been reminded, and am still reminded, that I can’t be writing this book for myself. I have to write it for whoever it is that it is meant to reach.

Reaching publication was partly just to prove to myself that I could do it, but several of the secondary characters made it clear they had their own stories to tell, so I’m looking forward to releasing at least three more books in the A Thornbush and Juniper Story series. Each story focuses on a woman from Beauty in the Bittersweet, and how her faith is tested, renewed, or forged through real world experiences. My stories may be grittier than some, but I write with hope at the center. I hesitate to classify this series as “romance,” although there may be a central couple, but each book is meant to show an abundance of grace in the messiest of circumstances.

I used to say I write fiction because I don’t want my personal life to be on display. That was before I realized that I have to be somewhat open when it comes to building my platform! But I’ve realized it isn’t bad to be open about my life because so much of it inspires my stories. I wrote about infidelity in this book because I have been on both sides of it. I’ve been cheated on and I’ve been the other woman. It’s why book three in this series lets the “villain” in Beauty in the Bittersweet tell her side of things–not as an excuse, but to show her journey. My characters may be rich with flaws, but their redemption–in a way–tells the story of my own. And my past is horrible. My present is hard. But I can write happy endings because my future is hopeful.